The great (weight) debate
I haven’t really made too much of the whole weight debate on this blog, because I think that a lot of what has to be said, has been said: stick-thin models don’t do much for anyone’s self esteem, people are beautiful in all sizes, and so on and so forth. But two things in the last few days have made me think again about the great weight debate, and how the cultural “norms” related to female beauty (because, let’s face it, when we talk about fashion and weight we are referring to women – I’m not for a second suggesting that men don’t have their own body image issues, but the fashion-weight tie-in is a feminine one, 99% of the time):
- I went to a christening in Knockcroghery, outside of Athlone, over the weekend (more on that later) and, post-renouncement of the devil, we went to O’Brien’s, the local pub, for a few pints (for the others) and vodka and limes (for me), seeing as I am attempting to avoid all types of fizzy drinks. Totally boring and lime cordial is really sickening after your third drink. Sunday night was a fancy dress night in O’Brien’s (because, God knows, there isn’t enough time next weekend to get dressed up) and I realised that, of all the “sexy dressing” going on, it was all being perpetrated by the very thin women in the room. Sexy nurses, sexy, uh, queen of hearts, sexy Wonder Woman (who, I guess, is intrinsically sexy). . . you get my drift. The larger ladies (and I mean larger than a size 8; these women were by no means obese, they were just average sized) were dressed as various comedy characters: the wheelchair-bound Tourette’s sufferer in Little Britain; a “black baby” (her words, not mine) . . . and so on.
- The second point is that, through my scouring of the internet, I have found very few style blogs that feature women of any size larger than a 10. It would be safe to infer, through the looking-glass that is the internet, that style and fashion either concerns only the portion of the population that is thin enough to wear couture, or that the only women who feel able to discuss and display their style are the ones who have no body hang-ups. There are, of course, style blogs out there geared towards plus-size women, some of which I have blogrolled, but why include the word “fat” in one’s blog name? Why can’t we all be stylish, without being fat and stylish, as if that’s something to be particularly proud of?
The conclusions I’ve drawn from this are not particularly deep. They might not even be deemed conclusions. Women who consider themselves average or larger than average are obviously happier being someone to laugh at than someone to leer at (I’d rather the former in any case, but that’s the dirty feminist in me); and women who consider themselves larger than average don’t want to take photographs of themselves being average or larger than average and display said photographs on the interweb for all to see.
I’ll come clean: I’m average. If you’ve seen my photographs, you’ll know what I mean – I’m not trying to be patronising and act like I shop in Evans, which I don’t, but I don’t shop in the Petite section in Topshop either. I’m a size 14 on a good day; a size 16 on a bad day and a size 12 on the rare day I choose to shop in Dunnes. I have been trying to lose weight since I was about 13. I haven’t given up. I’m not a champion for the overweight; I would rather be underweight than overweight, but the logical part of my brain knows that’s conditioning, not logic.
My question is this: where are all the normal girls? Because normal does not mean average; I’m really sick of seeing photographs of thin girls looking stylish when, in all honesty, it’s a hell of a lot easier to look good in anything if you’re a size 8 than it is if you’re a size 14. Is this a call to arms? I don’t know. As I said, I haven’t drawn any conclusions.
Incidentally, I am aware that my feature on style bloggers featured three women who are thin, and gorgeous, so I could probably be accused of marginalising the “normal” myself; but the sad fact is, the normal woman in style blogging is the invisible woman. Find her. Send me her details. THIS may be a call to arms.
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1ams
wrote on 27 October 2009 at 12:52
Great post Rosemary.
Here are a couple of blogs I know that are written by curvy girls.
http://daddylikey.blogspot.com/
http://superkawaiimama.blogspot.com
http://www.fashionhayley.com/2008/07/weighty-issue.html
The whole weight thing isnt really an issue for me when Im reading a fashion blog though. Just like looking through vogue I take inspiration from what others are wearing and try to make it work in my own wardrobe. I dont really judge people on their weight although I did stop following Rumis blog as I knew there was no way in hell I could never make what she wears look good on me!
2Eimear
wrote on 27 October 2009 at 13:51
Thank you for being the person to acknowledge that ever decresing frame of the average blogger. I am constantly amazed at just how tiny all those that post their outfits on their own sites and also sites such as chictopia and lookbook are. We should start a revolution!!
3Fiona
wrote on 27 October 2009 at 18:04
not high fashion, but real world size everyday is
http://www.mywardrobetoday.com/
4Pixie
wrote on 28 October 2009 at 1:23
To be honest, as a woman who is naturally a size 6/8 I find that an awful lot of “average” sized women somehow unfairly assume that I have an eating disorder, (Which is entirely untrue, I eat like a horse). My waistline is commented upon in hushed and distainful tones as much as that of an obese woman.
Yes, the majority of couture models are skeletal, which is obviously wrong. However, I find in mainstream society there is far more acceptance now of larger ladies than there are of tiny petite ones like myself.
5rosemary
wrote on 28 October 2009 at 14:19
Pixie, any unwanted commentary about one’s appearance is just that – unwanted, not to mention rude. But my point is that the acceptable version of style is as seen on thin women, and there seem to be a lot more of them who either are very stylish or who just think they’re very stylish. It’s horrible that people feel the need to comment on other people’s appearances, no matter what that may be, but the fact of the matter is, it is a lot more culturally acceptable (and admired) to be thin that it is to be average.
6missmilki
wrote on 28 October 2009 at 14:26
This is an interesting post for me cos I’m pretty average. I’m short – 5″ and generally a size 12. I’m a little chubby I’d say but not exactly overweight. The thing is I used to post outfit photos on my blog last year when I was a slim size 10 but when I put on weight I stopped posting photos. I suddenly got self concious and shy and I felt like a blob so I didn’t want to show myself anymore, especially when it felt like I would be compared to slimmer more beautiful bloggers with cooler clothes!
I’ve been thinking alot recently about the whole issue and my self esteem but I still don’t feel much like showing photos of myself in a world/culture where most bloggers are slim and beautiful. I think it’ll always be an issue – because weight is not just an issue for blogging but an issue for most women in general.
7Pixie
wrote on 29 October 2009 at 21:13
I wish to god weight wasn’t a “women’s issue”. It makes the feminist in me angry!
8rosemary
wrote on 29 October 2009 at 21:33
Pixie, me too, believe you me – in fact, I think it’s hideous that the value of a woman is, above all else, assigned to her aesthetic worth. It doesn’t mean I don’t subscribe to that culture – but I wish I didn’t.