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I’ve gone back and forth so many times about whether to even do a spending diary this week – mostly because I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of my food choices. Diet culture has a lot to answer for, and the fact that I feel mortified by how many Bombay Pantry orders I made this week is bullshit; eating food is not a sin and comfort eating is totally normal. (Telling myself that on repeat.)
With that being said, this week was a bad week. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life (you know, the 10% of my day I don’t share) and I’ve been feeling really low. So I did what I do when I feel totally and utterly rubbish; I ate things that make me feel better.
So what did I spend my money on this week?
Food, basically. Bombay Pantry and Eddie Rocket’s and gourmet granola from Two Pups – and I’m trying really hard not to be embarrassed about that.
On the upside, I have already paid my tax for the year and, this week, I paid my VAT too! I ended up having a few quid left over (I’d put aside my VAT each month, ready for payment) – so I treated myself to something I’ve been dying to buy for about a year. So it wasn’t all food. It was just 99% food.
7am I had a really rough weekend, so I take a day of annual leave – I know I have to go to therapy, and thankfully I got a last-minute appointment, and I also need to go to the doctor. When I get stressed, my body lets me know so quickly. Stress shows up in my digestive system, my skin… and this time, it’s been an eczema flare-up that just hasn’t gone away, so I think I need to go and get something stronger than the over-the-counter stuff I’ve been using.
8.30am My parents were over at the weekend and brought brown bread that my mum made, so I have toast and bacon for breakfast.
10am I spend the morning doing some blog, social media work and some stuff for another job I do – social media for a company, covering their Facebook and Twitter posts.
11.10am Therapy time! It’s a really tough session. I knew it would be. I’ve been dreaming about going to therapy, which usually means that I’m worried about how it’s going to go. And it’s gross. I cry and I sniffle but I leave feeling a little bit more solid about my life and the direction it’s going in. That’s all you can ask for, I guess. (€80)
12.30pm Doctor! I get a prescription for a topical ointment for my rash and head off, €60 poorer. I hate going to the doctor, it’s so expensive. (€60)
3pm I don’t know what I do with my afternoon. I take my dog to the park and I tidy the house and sort some bits for charity, and then before I know it, it’s dinner time.
7pm When I’m feeling really low, I find it really difficult to motivate myself to do much of anything – including cooking. It’s like I can’t think of a single thing I want to eat, or where to start making it. So I order Eddie Rocket’s on Deliveroo. Instead of my usual chocolate malt, I go for a Diet Coke, which I tell myself is at least slightly healthier. But Eddie’s does not travel well and my chips are all soggy. Disappointing. (€15.99 – I had a €5 discount code from 3Rewards.)
Daily total: €155.99
8am Back to work, so I get the bus and then head to Two Pups en route – surprise, surprise, I haven’t planned anything for breakfast, so granola and coffee it is. (€9.30)
11am I’m working on some content stuff at work which basically involves copying and pasting copy from an excel spreadsheet and uploading it on to our CMS (content management system). It’s totally monotonous but I kind of enjoy it; it allows me to just switch off and concentrate on the task at hand, almost like an efficient robot. I really do love writing, but the production side is quite nice too because it doesn’t really ask that much of me, creatively.
12.30pm I meet Liam in the park for lunch – he picked up Páng for me and I transfer him the cash. We eat in the sunshine; I get two summer rolls and the kale slaw, which I’m pretty addicted to at this stage. LOL at the idea of my being addicted to kale, mind you. (€10)
5pm I get the bus home from work (I got the bus in, too, because on Sunday my bike made this really loud popping noise and then the tyre went flat – I’d pumped it too much and, in the heat, the tube burst, so I’ll have to get it fixed which is a pain) and chill out watching Suits and catching up on the new episodes of Nashville, which I hadn’t realised were released! I love when that happens.
7pm I’ve given up pretending I’m going to cook, so I order Bombay Pantry – butter chicken, basmati rice, a Peshwari naan and a Diet Coke. I pretty much always order the same thing and I live in fear that they’ll predict my order some day – I don’t know why, but that would be the ultimate humiliation. (€19.75)
10pm Bed is right after Love Island. It’s more important than ever for me, when I’m feeling like this, to give myself as much sleep as I need (which is a lot) and to feel really relaxed going to bed. If I feel panicked or anxious, I won’t sleep for hours, which is incredibly frustrating. I have a nice little bedtime routine going; I remove my makeup with the Pixi Double Cleanse*, then wash with my Eau Thermale Avene mousse, spray myself with their mineral water mist (amazing and so gorgeous in this weather) and do my serum-moisturiser combo. I’m out within, I’d say, three minutes.
Daily total: €39.05
8.30am I lead such an exciting and varied life. Bus to work, then Two Pups for coffee and granola. In my defence, I have seriously cut down on my takeaway coffee habit since we got the coffee machine at work; my morning coffee is the only one I indulge in. (€9.30)
1pm A friend of mine has recently moved home from a year in New York and, despite my best intentions, I never got over to visit her. I saw her last week for Hey Donna, but this week we’re catching up just one on one, which I’m really looking forward to – we go to the Fumbally and I get their special, which is some kind of sticky Cambodian rice dish with steak and is incredible. I almost lick the bowl. (€12)
2pm I drop into Spar for my usual salted caramel slice and Diet Coke. I really need to go cold turkey on the post-lunch dessert. (€4.15)
4pm My housemate texts to ask if I want to go to the beach after work for a swim. I mean, I don’t – because I’m lazy and depressed and I want to sit staring into the abyss of my laptop screen – but I should, so I say yes. Then I fret about it all afternoon.
6pm I pop into Spar, again, on the way home for supplies for dinner – I buy pasta and Kerrygold garlic bread, another Diet Coke and cheese for my housemate, and I have pasta with melted butter and grated cheddar and eat, I’d say, 70% of the garlic bread for two. Okay, fine, 85%. Whatever. It’s delicious. (€16.69)
7pm We go to the beach once the traffic has died down and, you know what? It’s gross. We head to Dollymount because it’s the nearest beach to our house, but it stinks and the water is really murky and full of seaweed, which gives me the willies. But I get in because I’m too embarrassed not to, and we wade around for a while laughing at the dog, who refuses to get in and just barks at us from the shore. I’d say we last about 10 minutes in the water before we decide it’s so gross we need to get out ASAP.
9pm Love Island! My current thoughts: love Laura. Hate Georgia. Megan can just eff off. Samira is very sneaky. I forget about everyone else, even my once-beloved Dani Dyer, and the boys are an absolute snoozefest.
Daily total: €42.14
8am Thursday is Scéal Bakery day, remember? So I break with (my own) tradition and head to the Fumbally for a cinnamon morning bun (I don’t know why they say it’s cinnamon when honestly it’s 90% sugar) and a coffee. I’ve been so distracted this week that I haven’t taken my Keepcup with me once and am feeling really guilty about all of these disposable coffee cups, which just go into the general waste bin in the office. (€6.90)
11.30am Work, work, work. Another coffee from the canteen.
12pm The internet goes down at work – literally, not a bar in the place. So I sit twiddling my thumbs for a while, all the time thinking it’ll be back any minute!
1.30pm I take a slightly late lunch and go to the Fumbally on my own, where I get a salad plate and sit opposite a very trusting woman who asks me to mind her laptop while she goes to the bathroom. I think the thing about having short, curly hair is that you’re pretty easily identifiable in a line-up, so I guess I’d never get away with it even if I was the robbing type. (€10)
3pm The internet is still not back, so I decide to go home and finish up my bits there – there’s just no point in sitting in the office when I could be at home, actually getting my work done, so I hop on the bus and get two hours done at home.
6pm Recording the new episode of How to be Sound tonight with Joanne McNally, who I adore. Ridiculously, I was kind of surprised by how much we got into on this episode – I just thought it would be Joanne telling hilarious stories, but we ended up talking about cultural appropriation, the validity (or not) of the concept of “safe spaces”, the folly of giving your other half sex vouchers for Christmas… It’s all there.
7pm Joanne’s doing a gig tonight, but she has an hour or so, so we head to Chez Max for two glasses of wine and a gossip. When I leave, I realise that I was definitely giving more goss than she was – sneaky. (€13)
8pm I am 10 years old, and on the way home I realise I’m bursting for the loo, so I head to Starbucks on Dame St and buy a bottle of water, just so that I can ask for the toilet door code. “Oh, there is no code.” RAGE. (€1.75)
8.15pm I walk home – and what do you know, Kanoodle is right there. I get sweet chilli chicken and duck spring rolls because honestly? If I haven’t eaten anything healthy by Thursday, why start now? (€17)
Daily total: €48.65
7am It’s technically my day off today, except oh, it’s not. I’ve started working with Andrea Roche on her influencer outreach – basically liaising with influencers and brands and coming up with ideas, drawing up media kits etc. For starters, it’s a lot of admin so I get up early to fire off some emails and get going!
9am I’m also kind of double jobbing today, so I’m doing interviews for a photoshoot House and Home Magazine is doing. I head off to the Radisson Blu on Golden Lane with my laptop and type up interviews as I do them – I could record and transcribe them, but honestly it’s quicker to just type as we go and I’m almost quick enough to do it without having to correct things every two seconds. I grab coffee and a croissant in the Bald Barista en route. (€4.70)
11.30am The shoot finishes a bit early, so I go for lunch with my friend Kirstie, who’s been coordinating it – we have a moment where we consider going to Five Guys on George’s St. I’ve never been, but then 11.30am feels way too early for burgers, so we go to Lemon and I get a vegetarian power omelette instead. They fry the toast on the pancake griddle, which is so delicious and reminds me of fried bread in my Granny’s house. Kirstie pays to say thanks for helping her out.
1pm I walk home after lunch, and head into Clarks en route. I realised recently that I have no shoes I can walk in, that don’t come in trainer form, and I want to get sandals and some other kind of flat shoe I can wear to work and not look like a total scruff. I buy a pair of sandals and a pair of brogues that kind of look like a four-year-old’s school shoes in the sale (I love them). (€67)
2pm I show Instagram Stories my new shoes. “Rosemary! My nana has those shoes!” Note to self: don’t show Instagram Stories your new shoes.
2.30pm Back to influencer work. I’m doing a day a week, so I’ll do another half day over the weekend or next week to make up the time I spent on the shoot (and at lunch).
6.30pm I order Bombay Pantry. Because LIFE. (€19.75)
Daily total: €91.45
9.30am I’m teaching class this morning in Smithfield, so I drop into Third Space first for a coffee. I haven’t been training pretty much at all lately, so I’m feeling like a real fraud teaching class – I feel like I look as if I haven’t been training (which is basically not possible), and people will know I’m a lazy so-and-so who orders takeaways non-stop. (No one will know.) Class goes well though and I feel much better afterwards. (€2.25)
11am We’ve got into a little routine of going for coffee – and the occasional Scéal Bakery treat – after class, so we head into Proper Order and one of the girls from Lift buys me a coffee and we share a cinnamon bun. I found a pair of runners she wanted on sale for her, so she’s trying to pay me back (I tell her she doesn’t have to, but I don’t push the issue because FREE COFFEE!).
12.30pm After work, I meet my Mum and we go to Penneys – I’ve found a last-minute holiday deal for next week, cleared the time off with work and now I need to totally panic buy some swimwear. I get a swimsuit, beach cover-up, playsuit, dress and some PJs. She insists on paying – I think she feels sorry for me because I’ve been so down.
1.30pm On the way home, we get coffees in 147 Deli (she pays) and I pop into Spar to buy a pack of cigarettes. Yes, I’m still smoking. Mum is horrified, but when I tell her it was either this or stay in bed all week, she demurs. (€12.20)
2pm I go to book the holiday I saw online this morning – and it’s gone. I am raging. So, so raging. It was an incredible trip to Puglia for a week and I was imagining all the bread I was going to eat and now the dream is over. Sob.
3.30pm Mum and I walk into town via the secondhand shop, where I drop off some bits, and Penneys, where I return the holiday stuff I bought (bar one really comfy and lovely striped midi dress). She suggests I keep them, but I honestly don’t need holiday stuff (especially if I’m not going on holidays) and oh, did I mention the fact that the swimsuit was wedged up my arse?! I blame Love Island.
4pm We drop into Siopaella in Temple Bar; my friend Linda is having a pop-up of her gorgeous online shop, Stiall. I try on a few bits but don’t buy anything – anything I want is unavailable in my size, but Linda gives me one of her gorgeous T-shirts she designed as a gift.
4.30pm I leave Mum and get a text from Kirstie to say she’s in town, and do I want to go to Eddie Rocket’s? I’m still bitter from the soggy fries I had on Monday so yes, I really do. I pay for hers as it’s my turn. (€32)
6pm After Eddie’s, we go book-and-magazine shopping in Eason’s and I spend way more than I intended to, but I am armed with loads of reading. (€36.36)
7.30pm In a sulk about not going on holidays, and with the cash I would have spent on going away, I buy three necklaces from Missoma* that I’ve been lusting after for ages. I figure I, er, deserve them? (€358.35)
Daily total: €441.26
10am I had vague plans of getting up early enough to go to yoga (remember that €59 monthly yoga pass I bought? Well, I’ve gone once) but then decide just to let my body sleep. I sleep until 10am. Then the dog moans so much that I have to get up. Joy of joys.
10.30am I had a craving for French toast, so I whip some up for myself with bacon, eggs and bread I had in my cupboard. I finish the maple syrup – and vow that I will not be buying any more maple syrup for a while. It’s just too tempting.
11.30am I’m still debating what to do with this week ahead – I have the time booked off work, which I could always cancel, but I’ve been feeling so rough that I think I should just take the week. The weather is meant to be nice, I can go to yoga, go to Lift, go to therapy and try to get my shit together a bit. Plus, I think I’ll take a night or two “down the country”, as they say.
12.30pm I listen to podcasts and do some social media work. Scheduling posts can be so monotonous, and not even in a relaxing way, so I like to offset it with some fun murder podcasts.
3.30pm I’ve been trying to talk myself out of working out all morning, but to no avail – I always think of this one Weightwatchers leader I had who used to say, chirpily, “you never regret a walk!” She was right, really. So I walk to Lift and then do a really gross, hot and sweaty session that makes me feel really nauseous. For the first time since I started lifting weights, I think I might vom and have to lie down with my feet up for a good 10 minutes when I’m done.
5.30pm I’m home – and I’m wrecked. It already hurts to sit down, so I’m not excited about how I’ll feel tomorrow! I quickly heat up some curry my mum gave me that I’d defrosted during the week and eat it with basmati rice and a mandarin orange I found in the fruit bowl that, I’ll be honest, had seen better days. (I love curry with something sweet!)
6pm I’m going to see David Sedaris in the National Concert Hall tonight; my friend Liam bought me the ticket for my birthday and honestly? I’m not that excited about it. I adore David Sedaris – he’s so funny – but I’m in one of those “I could never laugh again!” moods and I just don’t think this is going to help. I have what I think is a really quick shower, realise I’m late and then cajole my housemate into giving me a lift. She does – that’s true love.
8.45pm Well, I was wrong – David Sedaris was hilarious, I laughed out loud several times and I even asked a question (despite being pretty outgoing generally, I’m always too embarrassed to put my hand up during a Q&A section – but NOT TONIGHT!). Maybe it was the post-workout endorphins!
9pm I get the Luas home and then run to the house to catch the last 3/4 of Love Island. I watch it on the patio – stretching two extension leads out the window so that I can watch it while smoking. That’s commitment – to what, I’m not sure.
Daily total: €0
Weekly total: €818.54
*This is an affiliate link. Click it, don’t click it – if you do, I’ll just spend my % on food anyway so, y’know, no big.